Wizard Duels for Muggles

I've had several customers concerned lately about the wands they've ordered choosing them - remember, the wand chooses the wizard. To put your fears to rest, I do have a money-back guarantee - if your wand doesn't choose you, return it for your money back (except the cost of owl post) or replacement with a different wand. All I ask is that you first try winning it in a wizard duel - wands often choose to change their allegiance to the wizard who bests its current holder in a wizard duel. Now if you've been attending Hogwarts, Beaubaxtons, Durmstrang, or other wizarding academies, you have probably already learned to duel. For muggles like myself, however, let me fill you in on the rules for the basic wizard duel:

1. Stand back to back with your opponent, holding your wand in your dominant hand.
2. Together, count to three, out loud, taking one step per count (big steps so you don't jab your opponent in the eye in the next step).
3. On three, turn around, take aim, and shout out your incantation - you can choose one of three:
   Expelliarmus - the disarming charm
   Protego - the shield charm, or
   Stupefy - the stunning curse.
4. Expelliarmus can pierce shield charms, when properly executed, leaving your opponent at your mercy. However, when used against someone who has used the stunning curse, your jinxes pass mid-air and you'll be unconscious. Don't think that the stunning curse is foolproof though - if your opponent uses Protego, it will rebound and knock you out instead.
5. Two out of three is the customary number of rounds for a duel. Single and double elimination tournaments work well for large numbers.

If you follow this procedure, win the duel, and the wand still hasn't chosen you, then feel free to send it back. So far, though, this procedure has been 100% successful for my clients. Thank you, and happy dueling!

Oh, one more thing: Actual witches and wizards should follow the official rules and procedures issued by the Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Games and Sports, and only under proper supervision. The rules I have posted are for fellow muggles only. Thank you.